July 9th Blog

The final days in Cambodia have been some of the most challenging that I’ve been through. I’ve faced challenges that have been physical, some have been mental, and some have been emotional. Teaching at the school, finishing some projects at the orphanage, and seeing the slums are just a few of those challenges. Leaving was definitely one of them as well. However, I feel that going through these things throughout the entire trip has helped me become more aware, responsible, and able to see the bigger picture. I can say that Cambodia has helped shaped me into someone that my family and others can be proud of.

                This trip has been a big part in strengthening my ability to accept my faults. In almost every aspect of my life, I struggle whenever I make mistakes, and they end up weighing me down. Over the course of these past two weeks, I can look back at several times when I made a mistake. At first, these mistakes hit me hard and I felt very unmotivated. In one of these instances, I was at the school and teaching the very first class of the day. I made the mistake of coming unprepared, and the second half of the class was a jumbled mess of boring activities. Afterwards, I had felt like I failed the kids, and I didn’t want to teach at all anymore. I realized, though, that a negative attitude would be less helpful than poorly teaching a lesson. So, for my second class that day, I came to the classroom as fired up as someone can be before teaching, but more importantly, I was fully prepared and then some. I had lessons for anything that the teacher wanted me to teach, and I had fun games that I was excited to play with the kids. I not only had a lot of fun, but I also feel that the students had fun and learned something.  Thanks to this trip, I believe that I’m beginning to learn how to make mistakes and use them to improve, which then helps me be more useful to others.

                I know that everyone will say that leaving the orphanage was the hardest part of the trip, and I would agree on some levels. It was a time to say goodbyes as well as a time to reflect on the trip. I felt a nagging sense that I could have done more, that I didn’t give 110% all the time. I also felt sad like most people would, because we had met such amazing people and saying goodbye two weeks later. As expected, the goodbye party on Thursday was gloomy and sad. When a girl named Srey Neath took my hat for the - wait let me count - millionth time, I was in no mood to play around. Again, a new feeling swept over me and I realized that it didn’t all have to be sad. Yes, there was more I could have done (and there always will be), but what I did do had been important. Yes, I was sad to leave my new friends, but I felt that they appreciated that I had been there in the first place. Knowing this, I felt good enough to play one last game of keep-away. Running around the stage and zig-zagging through the crowd, I felt truly happy and free, and I felt comfort in the knowing that the kids were happy, too.

                Everyone has to go through hard times in their lives. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t have the easy and fun times. It’s being able to appreciate the challenges and find ways to overcome them that make us better people. Seeing the way other people have to struggle just to live, and saying final goodbyes to people so impactful has brought me down, but given me the tools to get back up. Cambodia has taught me so much, but the thing that will stick with me the most will be learning about and developing myself.

July 4th Blog

Sometimes, back at home, I get so used to the way things are. I forget that there are places that are nothing like home. I have discovered that places like Cambodia don’t just look different. Places like Cambodia sound exciting, they taste exotic, they feel exhilarating, and they smell… interesting. The most exciting thing that I’ve observed is the influence of Buddhism in the city and village, as it is the most common religion in the region. Everyday, I see more interesting shrines, temples, and of course, monks. Another thing I’ve noticed is the general independence that the Khmer people have. It makes me think about how different it is back home, with all of our social networks and reliance on things like restaurants, cleaning services, and so on. Here, though there is an interactive economy, most people have learned to do everything by themselves. These differences that I have seen have helped me think back to the way I live in Colorado.

                One of my favorite parts of this trip has been seeing the ancient traditions of Cambodia along with the practices and beliefs of Theravada Buddhism. On many of our tuk-tuk rides, we have driven past several Buddhist temples. Seeing the intricate drawings and writings on the walls, the decorative pagodas, and the wise, orange-cloaked monks, engages a childish curiosity inside me. I wonder about how old some of these traditions and buildings must be, and what the detailed writings and engravings mean to the people who worship them. The temples also remind me of places back home, like the churches and cathedrals you can visit in large cities. I am very glad to have this opportunity to see such an interesting way of life.

                One thing that has me both intrigued and saddened is how the children at the orphanage, have adapted to living where they do. I also see some of the same things when driving through the city and village.  On one of the days at the orphanage, I was starting to hand wash a big load of the children’s clothes. Almost immediately after I started, an eleven year old boy named Poa jumped into action. He collected brushes, buckets, and soap, and he showed me how to hand wash clothes like a master. He showed me techniques and tricks that I never would have thought of. Soon, there were three other nine-year-olds washing, rinsing, and drying their clothes alongside me. The same boy, Poa, helped me complete several other chores that day with extreme efficiency. Compared to the children I know in Colorado, it seemed that these kids were almost completely independent. I also realized, sadly, that they didn’t do everything by themselves because they wanted to , it was because they had to. If they didn’t care for themselves, there is no one that will. It makes me upset that while kids at home can have everything done for them, the children here have to be almost completely independent.  It shouldn’t have to be this way, and knowing this fills me with guilt, but it also encourages me to want to make their lives easier.

                As I take in my surroundings, I compare it to life in the United States, and I have fun noticing the little or big differences in life. I love seeing a place so different, because I have never seen any place so different in religion, traditions, and practices. It is also important for me to see the way that people live their everyday lives. Though things may be different, at the end of the day, people are just people. And these people deserve help just as much as anyone else.

June 30th Blog

The start of my Cambodia service trip can be summarized into one thing: unexpected. Before arriving, I had developed my own expectations for the country, the people, the orphanage, and the school. These expectations have quickly been proven wrong. On Wednesday, our group got a much needed history lesson. We visited the Tuol Sleng Prison Museum and the Choeung Ek Genocidal Center also known as S-21 and the Killing Fields, respectively, during the rule of the Khmer Rouge. Being there and seeing the still blood-stained rooms where millions of people people suffered and died provoked so many emotions that I had never experienced before. Among these emotions, I felt sad, angry, confused, and a few that are hard to explain.  Most of all, I was terrified: feeling the fear that ruled the lives of an entire country. Although I cannot compare what I felt to the real thing, I feel that I have a better understanding of the Khmer people. Now the next step is to help people with a new understanding.

                On Thursday, I was assigned to teach at the English School. Because it was our first day, our job was to observe the classes and get a general idea of what we would be teaching. For whatever reason, I saw this as a chance to relax. I did not realize how important learning English was to these kids. In the USA, learning a new language is just another boring class that students have to sit through. However, in Cambodia learning English is a vital part to opening up a world of opportunity. With English, students can go on to follow opportunities such as getting a higher education, becoming a translator, or becoming part of the tourism industry. Because I did not choose to understand this, I did things half-heartedly when the teacher asked me to help pronounce words, count to ten, or read a book in English. At the end of the day, the teacher asked me to help students read a book in English. As I did, I realized how hard the students were trying to understand the words and pronounce the words correctly, then I realized how my attitude and behavior was not helping them. At this moment, something inside of me clicked. My attitude changed directions and I became excited to teach. Unfortunately, the day ended soon after, and I did not get a chance to work harder. I feel a huge sense of regret and failure when I think about that day. So, I have made a personal goal to never end a day feeling the same way I did at the school, and I can do that by always finding a way to be more efficient and involved.

                Though it has only been a few days, I feel that I have recognized many important things. I have grasped why it seems that the whole country shares a deep sadness which inspires me to help. I have also realized how important it is to always give my best, no matter what it is that I’m doing. Finally, I have learned that being useful doesn’t always mean you have to be good at what you’re doing; you just have to want to help. I’m eager to find out what else Cambodia will teach me.