The final days in Cambodia have been some of the most
challenging that I’ve been through. I’ve faced challenges that have been
physical, some have been mental, and some have been emotional. Teaching at the
school, finishing some projects at the orphanage, and seeing the slums are just
a few of those challenges. Leaving was definitely one of them as well. However,
I feel that going through these things throughout the entire trip has helped me
become more aware, responsible, and able to see the bigger picture. I can say
that Cambodia has helped shaped me into someone that my family and others can
be proud of.
This
trip has been a big part in strengthening my ability to accept my faults. In
almost every aspect of my life, I struggle whenever I make mistakes, and they
end up weighing me down. Over the course of these past two weeks, I can look
back at several times when I made a mistake. At first, these mistakes hit me
hard and I felt very unmotivated. In one of these instances, I was at the
school and teaching the very first class of the day. I made the mistake of
coming unprepared, and the second half of the class was a jumbled mess of
boring activities. Afterwards, I had felt like I failed the kids, and I didn’t
want to teach at all anymore. I realized, though, that a negative attitude
would be less helpful than poorly teaching a lesson. So, for my second class that
day, I came to the classroom as fired up as someone can be before teaching, but
more importantly, I was fully prepared and then some. I had lessons for
anything that the teacher wanted me to teach, and I had fun games that I was excited to play with the kids. I
not only had a lot of fun, but I also feel that the students had fun and
learned something. Thanks to this trip,
I believe that I’m beginning to learn how to make mistakes and use them to
improve, which then helps me be more useful to others.
I know
that everyone will say that leaving the orphanage was the hardest part of the
trip, and I would agree on some levels. It was a time to say goodbyes as well
as a time to reflect on the trip. I felt a nagging sense that I could have done
more, that I didn’t give 110% all the time. I also felt sad like most people
would, because we had met such amazing people and saying goodbye two weeks
later. As expected, the goodbye party on Thursday was gloomy and sad. When a
girl named Srey Neath took my hat for the - wait let me count - millionth time,
I was in no mood to play around. Again, a new feeling swept over me and I
realized that it didn’t all have to be sad. Yes, there was more I could have done
(and there always will be), but what I did do had been important. Yes, I was
sad to leave my new friends, but I felt that they appreciated that I had been
there in the first place. Knowing this, I felt good enough to play one last
game of keep-away. Running around the stage and zig-zagging through the crowd, I
felt truly happy and free, and I felt comfort in the knowing that the kids were
happy, too.
Everyone
has to go through hard times in their lives. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t have the
easy and fun times. It’s being able to appreciate the challenges and find ways
to overcome them that make us better people. Seeing the way other people have
to struggle just to live, and saying final goodbyes to people so impactful has
brought me down, but given me the tools to get back up. Cambodia has taught me
so much, but the thing that will stick with me the most will be learning about
and developing myself.
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